08. in which I make up for a week long lull by writing an epic complete with pictures

I think I cursed myself with that last post. Immediately after I wrote it I went to Edinburgh (SO PRETTY I am probably going to move there right now and you will never see me again, sorry!) and got absolutely nothing done except sight-seeing all weekend. Then I came home and spent Sunday at The Lizard which is the St. Andrews version of a club instead of, you know, sleeping and woke up Monday feeling a bit under the weather. That seemed to flip some switch in my brain, act as some sort of Pavlovian cue that made it go “Oh, staying out all night? I know what this means! I am on vacation!” I then proceeded to buy absurdly expensive French cheese, a bottle of wine, some bread, and absurd amounts of chocolate and spend the next three days doing nothing productive at all. And I mean nothing. Sorry friends and parents I just...ceased communication with! E-mails were just too much for me! Oops.

But this entry is not about that! This entry is about a long-ago time when it was not raining and it was the Saturday before last and I hiked the Fife Coastal Trail and basically produced a collection of photographs that should probably be entitled “No One Needs This Many Goddamn Pictures of the Coast Okay Caitlin?” So today you are going to get a kind of pictorial essay/psychological case study about that. Okay? Okay:

So to understand this you have to know something about me (some of you probably already know): I am scared of really weird things. Pumping gas, for example, makes my entire body tense up in rigid panic because I just know I'm going to somehow, someway, ignite the gasoline and create a fiery inferno. Also, midgets. Yeah, midgets, ha ha ha, laugh it up, I'll be over in the corner shaking. Probably the one I catch the most flak for, however, is my fear of cows. Yes, cows. Yes, I'm serious. Look they just...something is not right about cows. They stare and stare with their big, soulless eyes and they're always watching you and just...I don't know! But I am terrified of cows and that is the background you need before we launch into:

The Fife Coastal Path!
This lovely little path is just past the harbor I showed you last post and runs along the coast. As, you know, coastal paths often, hopefully, do.


The first part is a brief uphill climb


At the first summit you can see the town jutting out into the sea, a fairly constant view throughout the hike as you watch it get smaller and smaller over your shoulder


Then you hike along for awhile taking in the pretty golf course, looking down at the ocean from cliff edges, ducking through picturesque overgrown archways of brambles and branches, and hopping up and down steps made of rock












So, yeah, the first half of the hike is lovely. My photography skills are subpar. Hiking, hiking, so nice...oh, hey, what's that?


...oh, well, that's kind of disquieting. I thought, assuming this meant I might see some cattle in a pasture bordering the trail. I wasn't exactly psyched for cows watching me with their soulless killer eyes while I hiked but whatever, they'd be behind a fence right? Ooh look at the pretty beach with the cool rocks!






Yup, great hike, fun times...wait...what's that noise?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Uh, yeah, apparently by "winter grazing land" they meant "cows will be looming on the cliffs overhead. Watching you. With no fences. Totally free to COME AND EAT YOU."


So I go along the trail for awhile longer, see some more pretty stuff, and stop to do some reading for class






Then, gathering my courage, I headed back towards town.


The cows had disappeared from the clifftops and I started to relax, figuring they'd ambled back to hell...er, their barn or whatever. Then I turned a corner and right there, close enough to bite me, was a giant cow staring with menacing vacancy. Here is where I would insert a picture of the beast if I had not responded by actually, audibly, yelping and throwing myself sideways into a bunch of bushes which I then proceeded to back through with my hands raised going "Sorry! Sorry! I'm leaving!" Which, okay, even I recognize how ridiculous that was. I don't know why I'm let out of the house. Um, the bushes I stumbled through were real pretty?


But I did make it back to town without being trampled by my bovine nemesis and may even attempt the hike again some time if I can bring someone with me to distract the cows or whatever so I'm counting this one as a success.

People I imagine have actually read this epic: the ones who share my DNA
Things I am becoming addicted to that I will jones for like a crackhead when I come home: Walks by the sea, tea and toast every day at 4pm (I know I CAN have it at home but I don't think anyone back in Illinois or NY will see it as an essential part of life that should override everything on my to-do list and yours as well), galaxy chocolate, pretty old buildings, cheeeeeeeeese